Sleepless in North Bay

I think we all know that writing at 3 am is rarely a good idea. But on a particularly homesick and academically depressed night, as I was going to sleep after feeling totally unproductive, I thought of 'Goodnight Moon'; remember that kids book about going to sleep? My mom used to read it to me when I was really little. I said goodnight to my pets, and it just went from there. Cheesy? Perhaps. But I like it.

Goodnight hamster, goodnight fish,
Goodnight empty supper dish.
Goodnight laptop, goodnight mouse,
Goodnight thin-walled, drafty house.
Goodnight books, goodnight notes,
Goodnight list of Diefenbaker quotes.
Goodnight flute, goodnight stand,
Goodnight stash of food that's canned.
Goodnight purse, goodnight paper piles,
Goodnight stuff I haven't seen in a while.
Goodnight papers, goodnight folders,
Goodnight tin of oranges that's just getting older.
Goodnight family, goodnight moon,
Tell them all I'll be home soon.

musings

I feel as though I've dropped off the face of the earth! I've never known myself to be this busy. Frankly I'm not surprised, I expected this, but it's such a bizarre feeling. To start off, after that NATO conference, my immune system decided to take a vacation and I got a nasty little cold that wouldn't go away. Trying to be productive with a head cold is like trying to shovel snow with a garden spade. It happens, but really slowly and with a lot of unnecessary effort.

Valuable thing I learned: There are many hard things when you are sick, but trying to write to your French teacher in French, when your language skills are weak at best was by far one of the hardest things I had to do with that cursed cold.

This was the first weekend I stayed fully in town in the last 5 weeks. Five weeks! I had my grandmother's funeral, the beginning of reading week, the end of reading week, the NATO conference, and then another family issue last weekend. I just wanted to stay put and not need to deal with anything, and I finally got my wish. It turned out really productively - I'm on page 23 of my 30 page thesis! Well, one of them. I haven't started the other one yet, but that's beside the point and thinking about doing that one too just makes me sad, so I'm just thinking about the first one.

Has anyone else noticed that late night television sucks? Cuz I sure have. Staying up late, I get lonely and at some point even the dog loses interest in me, so I keep the TV on for company.

That's not lame, right? Right?

History...

It is at night when I become my most philosophical. After a weekend of diplomacy and neighbourliness at the Model NATO conference in Ottawa surrounded by poli sci and international relations students, I have reflected on my own status as a historian.

History in itself and not as it is studied, is a special beast. History does not dwell. It continues on day after day knowing full well what has happened and moving forward nonetheless. History is life itself. History does not judge, it simply continues at a steady pace, never looking behind it. We could all take a lesson from history. But it was not history who lost battles, empires or soldiers. It was us for not knowing enough to understand what we were seeing and to write it down somewhere. On a piece of clay, granite, papyrus, anywhere. It left us the clues and all we had to do was hold onto it.

History as it is studied is not elitist. It is not meant to be placed upon a shelf and used only by those with the privilege. It does not do well there. Eventually, lack of use makes it slowly wilt in memory and eventually dies a sad and invisible death. History is not a sport of kings. It is not polo, played by dukes and princes while their wives drink tea on the sidelines. It throws itself at the feet of the world and begs them to use it. It yearns to be read, found, touched. It does not have the time to stop. It continues on, leaving a trail behind it, daring everyone to chase it.

And do you?

Gold medal in distractions

"Reading" week has never been more literal to me. Not that I expected much differently but wow! I've actually impressed myself with how much work I've done over the last week. My parents are equally as shocked as I keep going to my room and bringing down more and more books to read. I actually killed another highlighter this week from my printed primary sources, so my awesome mom bought me some more, in my preferred colour of marker (orange!)

I'm not normally a multi-tasker as I get distracted if there's something halfways interesting on the TV, but remember how I mentioned video games earlier? I liked my room mate playing them because I could just sit with company for hours and not need to change the channel. Well hello, Olympic Winter Games! Between CTV, Sportsnet, OLN and TSN there's constant coverage of the events during my working hours and since a lot of the events are the same thing over and over again, it's easy not to get distracted. If something interesting is happening, I can look up. Other than that, the running commentary keeps me informed.

Unless its curling. Some dorky part of me needs to watch curling if it's on. And hockey, but I've been trying not to watch that because I'll get too worked up and I just don't have the time for that! But curling, curling is calm and logical. I can think with them. Which is why it's dangerous - and awesome!

Race on Canada, race on. Win gold if you can, and if you can't, at least you've kept me entertained.

Reasons To Be Glad You're a Full-Time Student in Winter

It's North Bay, and it's cold. It's always cold this time of year. And we've lucked out lately with the sunny weather, but that just means that all the heat is escaping without the clouds. But there is a silver lining to being drowned by books in the middle of February. In fact, there's a couple.

1) It's better to be cooped up inside on a beautiful day in February then it is to be cooped up inside on a beautiful day in June.

2) Since everyone else is cooped up too, it doesn't make you feel like the odd-man-out. Also, it's handy to have others around so that when you're talking constantly about your projects, there's actually someone there to listen.

3) Winter makes it more acceptable to be drinking the typically frightening amount of coffee/tea/hot chocolate/latte/frappe/cider that you would be drinking anyways.

4) There's less of a chance that you're going to be drawn outside by amusing prospects from friends. I.e., it's a lot more tempting to join in on a barbeque with a pitcher of margeritas than it is to join in a game of snow tackle football.

5) Suddenly, the library's tropical thermostat isn't as irritating.

Relax! It's February 11! That means that spring is only...38 days away. For now, the picture of a tropical island as my desktop will have to make do.

I know this is a blog about life in fourth year, but sometimes the real world, including family, has to happen while you're cruising along at breakneck speed.

My grandmother passed away Wednesday night, a total shock to my family. This time last year she was admitted into the hospital and later to a nursing home, where she began to have a comfortable life. I guess her body just couldn't handle it anymore.

While the last couple of years stole away many of her faculties, she was always one for enjoying the moment. She loved the giant fish tank at her nursing home and how colourful the fish inside were. At Christmas, my mom took down a fiber optic colour-changing Christmas tree, which she would watch for ages as the colours sparkled on the tree. In the warmer weather, she and my grandfather would have almost daily picnics in the beautiful garden on the property, where she would literally stop and smell the roses.

Her funeral was lovely. Aside from the traditional hymns and prayers, my extended family's contribution was heartwrenching. My cousin read out a poem that my uncle (her father) had written for grandma when he was 24 years old, in 1981, for Mother's Day. The general theme my family conveyed was that she filled her life and everyone's around her with joy and that we should remember those times.

Take the time to watch the goldfish and the smell the roses, and tell your family that you care about them. It may not mean much at the moment, but these things add up and turn into wonderful memories of each other. I will miss her profusely and I'm still coming to terms with it, but I have a petal from the rose I put on her casket, which will remind me to stop and smell the roses, just like her.

The Worst Nighttime Cravings

One of my goals for this year is to not become as sedentary as I normally do in the cold weather, surrounded by a mound of paperwork. I don't follow New Year's Resolutions because I think the concept is silly because who actually keeps them past March? Nevertheless, it's a good idea for everyone to try to eat a little bit healthier, and it's become something that I've been trying to stick to for the last couple of weeks.

I don't want to become a calorie counter because I'm afraid that I'll become obsessive with it and need to know numbers for everything. Also, I can't pull the "Devil Wears Prada" diet and start exclusively eating cubes of cheese for meals. See, like most humans, I like food. But I really, really like food. I wake up and look forward to the breakfast I'm going to make myself and try and create more meals from ideas in my head than I really should. These don't always work out, but it sure is fun.

I also have a giant sweet tooth. Not necessarily chocolate, but just sweets. I'm a big fan of chewy candies like Fuzzy Peaches or jelly beans. Don't even get me started on Swedish Berries.

Instead of following some rigid plan, I'm following a few key tips given to me in an attempt to not become a library-dwelling troglodyte that feeds on scraps of food from previous animals (aka roomates' leftovers).

1) Give up the midnight snacks.
This is probably the hardest one for me because I love to graze throughout the day. It keeps me entertained while I work late into the night. Also, the really liking food thing comes into play.

2) Go for low-fat items that taste the same.
I'm the first person to say that if the "healthy choice" of whatever you're eating tastes bad, stick with the original. It's not worth the torture. But things like salad dressing or yogurt taste the same (sometimes better) to me, so I go for those.

3) Eat more produce.
This doesn't count the carrots and beans in the canned chunky stew that you had for lunch today. Combine real veggies with those low-fat dressings and you have a delicious afternoon snack.

4) Chocolate granola bars!
This is a new discovery of mine! Chocolate cravings are the worst to get rid of, and constantly popping Lindors isn't wise (although tasty). But I found these Nature Valley chocolate granola bars, and while they're still drenched in honey and not entirely healthy, they have some chocolate bits in them which can kill the cravings for a lot less calories than a Kit Kat.

Curses, now I want a Kit Kat.

I'm not going to make this blog about my healthy eating, but many students this time of year find themselves too busy to take care of their bodies, which in turn affects how we think and feel.

Bad eating+less sleep+stress=angry, moody students. And nobody wants that.